Like the sign says

All good things must come to an end, but maybe this one could last a bit longer?

I’m back for an unscheduled and unanticipated update on my life and its latest philosophies. There isn’t much point in writing these but they make me feel good and it’s been like four years going now so why not just continue you know?

Something about being able to say whatever I like and share however much I want to a public discord feels uninhibited. Which is a rare feeling for me, because in my day-to-day, I talk too much and share too much and have overall been described as “too much.”

Which I get, you know. I’ve met those people that feel like 150% of your daily social vitamin and have thought to myself, “wow, this person is a LOT.” It’s shitty, though. Because people who are a lot just have a lot to give. They’re sharing with you. And sharing really is caring.

I despise feeling like I’m too much; watching myself reach my unattended word count for the day. But people’s ears aren’t an white screen on a random blog, you can’t be infinite with people’s ears. We had a workshop at work about emotional intelligence that I fully expected to be corporate BS, but it told me that I can’t always take up all the emotional space. So maybe I’m just enough but in small doses?

Despite my current battle with a disease poorly named “word vomit,” life is good. I moved to a new city to feel happier, and I’m sorry to report that paying treacherous rent in a city with $8 coffee (don’t you dare forget to tip at least 20%) makes me happier. I even found a new job because working remote actually makes it remotely impossible to make friends or feel good about your career. So now I’ll be quitting a job for the first time ever and waking up at 7 am to spend the first hour of my day on a bus with strangers. That sounds like growth, right?

This phase of life is the first time I’ve been able to feel like I’ve reached a goal. Like this phase IS the goal, and all the decisions I made leading up to it were the right decisions. I love myself, my life, and my mental state doesn’t tempt me to crawl into a tiny ball three times a day and disappear into Gilmore Girls. Instead, I wanna go on long walks, read a non-fiction book, go on lots of dates with a boy who has lots of tattoos, cook dinners with my best friend and sister and get predictably drunk with crowded strangers on a Saturday.

So I’m going to hang out in this phase for a little bit and just celebrate life for getting here. This promised prosperity of my early 20’s will end eventually. But it’s here for now, and I’m taking as many pictures of it as my camera roll will let me.

P.S. I CHANGED MY DUVET COVER TODAY IM UNSTOPPABLE!